Happy Birthday to me.

I share the same birthday with 2 other friends of mine, Cheryl Loh and Elaine Lim. Coincidentally Elaine Lim was born in 1992, I was born in 1991 and Cheryl was born in 1990. Cool eh?

Anyway, on the stroke of midnight on 6 September 2009, my sister came in with a 2 dollar vanilla cake from NTUC, covered in some chocolatey fudge which she claims she made (I highly doubt so). Since we didn't have candles, she took wooden chopsticks broke it into a 5 cm stick and then super heated it till it was glowing with red ambers. Then she brought it in while I was in the midst of my gaming escapade, and place it on my mouspad. I was like "SCREW YOU! I CAN'T MOVE MY MOUSE!" Then I said "ok ok, thank you thank you, you put down first later I eat. And wtf is that chopstick doing on the cake?" After a few bites of the cake, it went back to the deep cold abyss of the fridge and I slept.

okay so I slept till around 11am. Then I woke up and went to toilet to pee. Pee and pee and pee and pee and pee. After that I went groggily to my computer and pressed the on button and was greeted by the montonous, mundane voice of Microsoft Sam singing happy birthday to me. So as usual, I scanned my face into the computer and logged on. Checked my email and was pleasantly greeted with Happy birthdays by my facebook friends and an automated computer generated happy birthday from a forum I visited. To tell you the truth, I was happy that even one person remembered my birthday. Ya, that's how pathetic my life is. FML. I didn't really have any plans for my birthday. It's really hard to ask friends out when the JC2 are having their prelims and JC1 are mugging as if studying about the law of diminishing returns was only thing exciting about their lives.

So as usual, I began the day browsing SgClub, and logging on to Garena to play Blackshot (I'm seriously getting better at sniping) and DotA. Oh well, at least Vanessa (The character I play in Blackshot), is actually quite cute and they made her character model quite hot. And there's always the busty and lusty Lina Inverse in DotA trying to seduce me to "Oh behave~!" Seriously though, no that much of my friends in my social circle are that on. Either that or they are seriously too 'guai'. Not the kind you can call up to ask to meet and they'll be there in 1 hour. But that's okay with me, I have my computer to see me through. I could have sex with my computer through the USB ports for all I care. Though PS/2 ports would be better since they are circular in shape while USB are squares.

So the time now is 4pm and I'm staring at the dangerous curves of my Razer Copperhead mouse, fantasizing about Megan Fox. My phone vibrates, I'm thinking it is some stupid SMS from Singtel reminding me of some kickass promotion or something. But it isn't. It is a call. My friend See Ler, probably the horniest guy in CJC, calls me up to drink at some pub at Somerset. My grip tightened around my handphone. Still tainted with the memory traces of our last pub trip, I said "Are you sure it won't end up like last time?" After much assurance, I decided to go. So with godlike speed, punctuality and exactness, I bathe, changed and reached Somerset by 5pm. We went into some pub called "Acid Bar". Where there were 3 girls sitting on the sofa. I was reminded of Charlie Angels immediately. Imagine how nice if they were to greet me with "Hi Charlie~" or maybe "Hi Shawniee~" for a personal touch. Oh well, fantasies aside, there were also on guy. So there were 5 CJC peeps and one NP peep. Sitting in the bar, drinking alcohol.

So we played truth or dare and I bloody tio 3 times. I think 2 truths and one dare. I remember one truth was to say that this girl "Claudia" had really bad teeth and like the teeth were razor-sharp and would slice your d**k off if she gave anyone a bj. LOL! I can't believe I said that to a girl, that I've barely spoke 10 sentences with. But it was all in jest and probably in drunken stupor. So no hard feelings!! Just for laughs!. The bar manager apparently was extrememly short. He was probably midget sized, lingering near the edge of becoming an oompa loompa (The beings that work for willy wonka.) So See Ler was massively spamming and shouting, "Wah lau eh that midget manager" and stuff like that. I probably said "midget!" louder than I should a few times too but I think I toned down abit later. But See Ler, that alcoholic kept spouting "MIDGET! MIDGET!" So when it came to a my dare, I was supposed to do some bartop dancing or something to seduce the midget manager. So I was all touching myself and doing seductive moves. Apparently there is a video of me dancing floating around the net, but I shan't show you all. I already have a immensely large collection dance videos of me and I'm not exactly proud of it. But neither am I ashamed hahaha! Oh yeah I ordered a Lime Magarita which costed me 15 bucks. WTF! 15 BUCKS! Hey but it was not bad...

So after that the CJC gang left, leaving me with See Ler. I feared the worst with See Ler, especially when he gets drunk like really easily. (I was told that once, he was so drunk, he laid on the grass asleep, and could not be awaken.) Thereafter, it was the CHS old boys party time. Humping and Melvin came. It was almost like some gay party. 4 guys at the pub drinking. I order 2 more bottles of Premium Lager A.K.A beer. After slacking and chilling for awhile more, we decided to go to Ion Orchard's Swensens to celebrate my birthday. As you know, alcohol has diuretic properties which causes you to really want to pee. Somerset was like around 400m to 500m from Ion Orchard, so I suggested that I go to Cineleisure to answer my call of nature, but I was met with active resistance of 3 men. They threatened to perform the Japanese water torture on me if I failed to comply. As you know, majority is always right so try as I might, Ion Orchard was the destination to be. So as we were walking by Takashimaya, there was some Lion Dance competition or some sort (?? It's not even chinese new year yet doh) and the 3 bastards, in evil unison, agreed that the Lion Dance competition was "extremely exciting, exhilarating, a must-see and eye candy that must not be missed. But after promising them that I won't marry Megan Fox (I still will! *evil grin*), they relented to my pitiful pleas to rush to Ion Orchard. Finally we went to Ion Orchard. I relieved myself and gave a HUGE sigh of relief.

The Swensens at Ion Orchard are seriously CMI. What the hell, its almost inaccessible from 90% of the places in Ion Orchard. It is closed off from the public. It's as if they are saying "Hey! Our venue is located at some dilapidated place which you stupid people out there will never find! Because you can't read directions!" Talk about discrimination. I wonder if some dumb oompa loompa was in charge of allocating the location of Swensens. It's like denying stupid people of being your customers. Imagine how much business you would lose!! I in Swensens I went, I ordered, some beef lasagne and shared Rodeo wings with humping. See Ler ordered fish&chips and kept complaining of getting a hangover. That stupid noob. Melvin ordered some Meatballs spaghetti thingy and humping ordered the megaburger. The megaburger actually looks quite cool. Might try it next time I go there. Finally it came to the dessert. I got some flaming birthday ice cream thingy on the house. There was supposed to be a candle in the middle but when the waiter came, the candle dropped into the ice cream and he bloody used his fingers to dig it out. EPIC FAIL. So he faster rush off and I just ate the ice cream anyway. The 3 bastards never order any desserts so they kept taking mine. And that bloody waiter no decency to say sorry or replace the candle or even say happy birthday. WAITER FAIL. After that we headed home. END OF BIRTHDAY ADVENTURE! =D

I'd love to talk about the time I went to Baybeats but I think this blogpost is getting a little too long, so I'll leave it for another time heh.